Open Your Ears.... Not Your Mouth

Have you ever noticed someone completely missed the point when they voice their opinions in class?  Have you ever been talking to someone and realized they weren’t paying attention to your message? Has any one ever asked how you were doing and if you say anything other than, “I’m fine,” all the sudden they’re in a hurry to get somewhere? Sometimes when you spend a few minutes, a day, a week, a month or more focusing on the lives of others rather than your own, you achieve much more than you would concentrating on your self.  Every time you lend an ear for someone to speak their mind and voice their concerns you alter their future.  Whether or not you can respond with some groundbreaking advice or not, listening is one of the greatest services you can offer to humanity. 

An old Swedish saying encapsulates the idea perfectly, “speaking is silver,

silence is gold.”  You learn more about your place in the world when you take a moment to just shut your mouth and take everything in.  True knowledge comes from observation rather than articulation. If you want to see the true essence of your relationships, community and society as a whole you need to use your eyes and ears and bite your tongue.  Too often do we prematurely voice our opinion and interrupt someone or something that may have altered your mindset completely. 

Most people live in a self-centered world in which they believe they are the all-knowing focal point of the universe.  I’ll admit it, even I’ve gone through times when I tuned out the people and environment around me to focus on myself.  In fact sometimes it’s healthy to put your goals on the forefront, especially in regards to your wellbeing.  Allowing this to be a lifelong attitude, however, will prevent you from experiencing the knowledge and happiness associated with real companionship. 

Next time you find yourself dominating a conversation, do yourself a favor and rest your vocal chords.  Allow others to share their opinions, you just might find a flaw or gap in your perspective.  It’s often times difficult to sit there and listen to someone who you find blatantly uninformed or for lack of a better way to say it, just wrong.  At the very least, you can find out the attitudes, emotions and values they attach to their discourse.  Even when someone is out of their element, listening and absorbing their input will almost certainly give you a greater understand of what draws you to that person.  If you’re upset that someone won’t hear you out, realize that they more than likely have something on their mind they really need to get out in the open and lend them an ear.  Hell, listening to someone else’s problems can help you realize yours don’t carry much gravity.

Snow Madness

Snow hell has returned to Columbia and with it a band of horribly inept and perilous drivers.  I was supposed to have a test today and it wasn’t until I drove down the unplowed streets, parked on the opposite end of campus, and marched a half mile through five inches of untrodden snow to my class that our professor decided to cancel and send us home.   On my way back to the car the snowfall turned into more of a slush and by the time I reached my parking spot my beard had frozen.  I looked like Liam Neeson at the anticlimactic ending of The Grey. I was a little frustrated to say the least but was unaware that this only the beginning of a series of hardships.

The girl parked in front of me must have seen me arrive to my Jeep, but rather than waiting for me to back up and make room for her she decided to try and pull out.  Little did she know her front-wheel drive Jetta had insufficient traction.  I feel as though she tried to go in reverse but had put her car in drive because as she struggled to move and applied more pressure to the gas pedal her car shot straight forward into the car in front of her.  I decided this wasn’t my battle and got out of there but I’m pretty sure she fled the scene. 

200 yards and one left turn later I ran into the my next struggle.  A car had almost made it to the top of a hill but after being forced to stop by a j-walking student they slowly started to roll backwards in my direction.  I threw my car into reverse and pulled out of the street into a driveway.  This still barely saved me as they either lost control completely or decided the only way they could stop was to cut the wheel and swerve backwards into a tree about fifty feet away from me.  After checking to make sure they were ok I continued my journey. 

When I finally made it to a main road I saw a girl in a Mustang stuck in a snowplow made hill.  I got out to help her and she rolled down her window to say in a valley-girl-esque, damsel in distress voice, “oh my God! Like I thought my car could make it, I mean like, it’s called A MUSTANG! Like what the heck!”  I informed her that front wheel drive vehicles were unsuitable for driving on icy terrain and after digging out the area around her wheels I was able to get her car out of captivity and onto the main road. 

I decided to stop at the gas station and grab an ice-scraper.  While I was there I ended up helping two cars make it out of the lot.  Neither of them so much as waved or rolled down the window to say thanks.  My girlfriend called me and asked if we could go pick up her friend because she had no food at her house and was scared she might get snowed in and starve.  I sighed, picked my lady up and we drove all the way back to campus.  After getting her friend it seemed like every student wanted to walk in the street.  Some of them wearing all grey attire as if they didn’t realize they were camouflaged in already low-visibility conditions.

Driving back to my house I counted three all-white vehicles without their headlights on.  When we finally made it back to my street we saw a man struggling to push a van full of girls up the long hill.  For some reason I was overwhelmed with a sense of civic duty and got out to help him.  After ten minutes we finally got her to the light where she needed one last push when it turned green.  For some reason she had put the car in reverse and damn near ran us both over.  After we got them on their way we noticed a line of cars had gotten stuck on the hill.  My kindness had run thin and decided someone else could play hero, got back in my car and drove home.  After parking and heading towards the door I saw a neighbor struggling to get her car out of her parking spot.  Another fifteen minutes in the cold with no gloves I managed to dig her out enough and guide her out of her space.  She and the man I helped push the van were the only ones to show their gratitude, but I was still kind of pissed when all she did was drive thirty feet to a different parking spot where she thought she’d be less likely to get snowed in.

I’m finally inside and warm with a belly full of ram-chili.  I rekindled some joy in my heart watching my dogs out in the snow.  Rusty was high-stepping making very calculated movements while Ein was jumping, rolling and frolicking, digging and kicking up the ice.  It was hilarious watching him having so much fun as he was practically fully submerged in the snow.   After a morning of dealing with idiots who thought their two-wheel and for the most part front-wheel drive could handle these conditions, I was happy to see my miniature dachshund finding so much happiness in his first real snowfall.  Stay warm Missouri and beware the SNOWPOCALYPSE!

Live Your Dream

Have you ever noticed that the people who tell you you’re dreams are unrealistic are the ones who have long since given up on their own?  The people who say you’re crazy or living in a fantasy are the same ones who settle for mediocrity.  I don’t understand how someone can judge the goals and ambitions of another human being when they have no insight on what drives that individual.   How can someone call my passion a long shot when they’ve never been in the ring with me?  How can you question my ability if you’ve never felt my pain or cared enough to ask me about it? It doesn’t matter who supports you.  It doesn’t matter where you’re from or where you’re going.  The only person you need to believe in you is yourself.   

Every time I’ve heard the word, “can’t” I’ve proved it wrong; call it my good luck charm.  Every time I’ve heard doubt in some one’s voice I’ve shoved it back down their throat.  At some point you tune the world out and concern yourself only with those who back you.   You stop caring if people understand what you’re about and what you’re trying to accomplish.  You surround yourself with the people who remain positive influences in your life, even if they don’t fully comprehend why you endure physical abuse day in and day out.  Once you’ve gotten to that level you are no longer chasing your dream, you’re living it. 

The only time I get worried is when I start to doubt myself.  It’s not for fear of getting hurt or injuring someone else.  The only time I doubt myself is when I’m scared to let those around me down.  I lose sight as to why I enjoy what I do and start to make it about my support system.  It’s important to recognize where your uncertainty is coming from and correct your thinking.  Yes it might suck to let down a coach, a team, your friends and family cheering you on but what’s even worse is to allow those things to cloud your mind and affect your performance. 

I enjoy fighting because it's both a team and individualistic sport.  You can’t succeed in MMA, boxing, kickboxing or jiujitsu without training partners.  A punching bag doesn’t hit back, a jump rope doesn’t teach you to get back up and fight with blood in your eyes.  Once it’s time to put yourself and your training to the test the sport takes a completely new form.   You are alone in the cage and on the mats.  No one will save you and if you are fighting for any other reason to win that fight you are going to get seriously injured.  If you are fighting to survive a round, you’ll wake up wondering what happened.

          Sometimes I feel selfish for finding so much pleasure in such an egocentric lifestyle.   Then I realize there is nothing self-absorbed about finding a way to build success with your own to hands.  There is nothing vainglorious about discovering a means to provide for yourself and those you love.  Punch after punch, kick after kick and fight after fight you set the foundation for a promising future.  The problem with most fighters is they don’t anticipate life after their body gives out on them or the competition becomes too great.  If you have a dream make it a reality and have a plan for when you wake up, don’t allow it to become a nightmare.