Female fashion is a very peculiar
phenomenon. It evolves at a much
quicker pace than men’s fashion and not always in a favorable direction. The reason I’m writing this blog is
because I noticed almost all the people sneezing and coughing in my classes and
on campus had a couple things in common.
One, they were primarily female and two they were all wearing
leggings.
Now
let me make one thing clear ladies: leggings are a single man’s best
friend. Instead of a boring walk
to and from class they have a perfect view of a sacred and worshipped part of
the female anatomy. Large
asses, small asses, firm asses and jiggly asses all parade around campus like
some sort of ass convention. The
reason I put an emphasis on leggings being in favor of the single man is because
those of us in relationships have to be very cautious. One downward glance and all the sudden
we’re getting slapped in the back of the head and never hear the end of it. The other reason leggings suck for the
committed man is although we are restricted from looking our girlfriends don’t
refrain from the fad. This means
that they too are part of the daily ass-travaganza these scumbags get to gawk
at and drool over.
I
understand a woman wanting to be up-to-date and fashionable but at what
expense? My girlfriend laughed at
me today because I am wearing fleece pants underneath my jeans. Why do I do this she asked. Because
it’s twenty-one fucking degrees outside and I for one celebrate my health and
comfort. I swear I saw a girl on
campus today in a lightweight hoody and leggings. Her face was pastey-white, her lips were blue and her whole
body a tremble. What about a
sickly looking girl is attractive?
What about a girl who is more concerned with fitting in than her own
wellbeing would come off as appealing?
My
message to you women of Mizzou is to stop trying to be a part of the herd,
especially when the herd is dumb enough to prance about practically naked in
freezing weather. For once
in your life dress appropriately for the conditions. (If it's raining out wear something waterproof, if it's freezing out wear a coat, if you're going to a movie theater bring a fucking jacket!) Save the leggings for summer and bundle up when you have
icicles growing from your ass cheeks.
Ladies with men, save your figure for them. We’re the only ones who need to know what your ass looks
like. If you’re in a relationship
then someone appreciates your individuality, so don’t be so quick to
conform.
I’ve
heard all the explanations for wearing leggings. How comfortable they are, how everyone is wearing them, how
they had nothing else to wear and how they go with anything. All men see is a girl trying
desperately to show off her goods.
Girls wearing their Greek letters on their leggings scream, “choose us
for homecoming our asses are incredible.”
These very girls act disgusted if they catch a guy giving them the once
over. If you’re going to wear
leggings in winter you might as well go all out and wear a bikini top with
them. All I see is a
miserably uncomfortable, insecure, poor excuse for a woman. If that’s you, keep on rocking em cause it’s really bringing
out your features.
PS. If you are more than 50 lbs over weight please stop wearing anything tight fitting at all. I'm tired of having nightmares about your cellulite taking over the world.
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